1/24/21

I wish that I could manage to write more than three sentences without being interrupted by the unending demands of my four year old. Lately it feels like my brain is constantly in writing mode and there is so much that I want to get out onto the page, but as soon as Fiona sees me trying to write something, she has to demand my full attention. It is incredibly frustrating. In theory, I could wait until she goes to bed, but that means ignoring all those writing moments where I just have to write. Not to mention, bedtime is an incredible fraught routine with her and I usually don’t get to step away from her until 9:30 or 10 at night. At that point, I usually have maybe an hour before I either collapse from exhaustion (I am not a night person) or she is once again yelling that she needs snuggles.

I love her, but I need a break sometimes too, and lately it seems like I am never getting one. She does go to school for half-days, which is great, but that is also the time that I use to homeschool my 11 year old. It is amazing how I can both feel like I am constantly busy with no time for myself, while also feeling like I hardly get anything done. I know that this is just a phase and in a few years I will miss my velcro child and her constant need for me, but right now, I really just wish that I could get maybe an hour a day to write and not worry about anything except the words on the page.