Happy Sunday! I am back for day 2 of my February blogging challenge, and once again I feel a lot of resistance to sitting down and working on my blog. I m hoping that by pushing through these feelings, I will get myself back into the writing habit and blogging here will once again feel more natural. Or maybe, I will always feel that resistance and never want to post here regularly again. I guess time will tell. Today is Sunday, which has me reflecting on my normal Sunday routines. I am still miserably sick today, so I will not be going anywhere, but typically I would be heading down…

Today is the first day of February, and I have challenged myself to make a post on this site every day this month. I am trying so hard to pull myself out of this writing slump, but I already didn’t show up to write today, and it is only day 1. February is a difficult and emotionally challenging month for me, so I am really doubting my ability to follow through at this point, but I am going to try. Hopefully, most days I will have something more interesting to post than just saying I am here, but for me, right now, showing up is showing up and that is…

As I attempt to get back to blogging, I find it important to define my identity. Who am I? If I am writing about myself and my life, what does that mean? What kinds of things might I write about? Over and over again, I have said that I feel like I lost myself and my identity. I don’t know who I am anymore. The fog of grief, depression, and parenting a newborn (now a toddler) overtook my life and I lost sight of myself. The truth is, even when lost in the fog, I still have an identity, it just got harder for me to see. I am hoping…

It has been a long time since I posted on here, and even longer since I posted regularly. It is difficult to even remember the person that I was when I first started this blog. The past few years have been a blur and I feel like I have changed so much as a person in that time. When I originally started this blog, I felt like my life was in a great place. I was a new homeowner of a house that I adored, in a town that I loved, and had a great community around myself. Things got a little shaky in 2020, with fewer get-togethers, and a…

This weekend was a major milestone in my life, as I was officially confirmed and received my First Communion in the Catholic Church. This has been a long, complicated journey for me, and I am eternally thankful to the love and support of everyone who has helped me along that path.  I have felt so lost in this world without either of my parents and did not know where to turn. There is something so empty and lonely about no longer having the people who made me and raised me in this world. I felt untethered and desperately needed grounding and connection that I have not been able to find until…

This blog started as a lighthearted creative outlet. The idea was to have a place where I could post about the area I lived in, share projects that I worked on with my family, and write some prose. For awhile I was great about posting. I had an editorial calendar and a running list of different ideas to write about at any given time. This blog was something that I shared with my family, friends, and the larger internet community. Over time, life got in the way. Balancing the needs of three children, getting through a global pandemic and lockdowns, starting homeschooling, and dealing with some of the harsh realities…

It has been one year now since we lost my mom, four months since we lost my dad. For awhile. It has felt like I was drowning, buried under the waves of grief and sadness, unable to pull myself out. Trying to keep my ahead above water, going about my daily life and trying to accomplish anything more than the bare minimum that was necessary, felt impossible. My grief swallowed me whole. I realized that I felt capable of doing anything beyond caring for my kids, there was nothing bringing me joy, and I felt like I wasn’t really living. Since that realization, I have been trying to pull myself…

Since the last time I posted on this page, my dad died. I had been slowly climbing out of my pit of grief from my mom’s death. Writing was something that I had just found my way back to doing, and I hoped that it would help me cope and process my feelings. When my dad died, every bit of progress that I might have made was crushed, and I found myself feeling lower than ever before. I have never before experienced grief like this and it’s hard. Grief changes you. I feel so far from the person who I was when I started this blog. I’m not sure if…

I miss my mom every day. Every day there is some reminder that she is gone. There is always something I want to share with her, but I can’t. My mom was my best friend, a great mom, and an even more amazing grandmother to my kids. I used to call her daily, sometimes multiple times a day. She was the person that I wanted to tell everything to. She was my go-to person who I would call for advice, even if I didn’t really need advice, i wanted to hear what she thought. Cara had her two month checkup yesterday, and I wanted more than anything to call my…

Whe Fiona was in school, I made sure that Connor’s homeschool schedule followed the regular school schedule. It was easier for him to focus and get one on one support when she was at school for the day, so following that schedule just made sense. Now that I am homeschooling both of them, we don’t have that set time that it is just the two of us working at home (although that had mostly ended with the baby anyway). It is an adjustment to our daily routine, but it also means we no longer need to follow the regular school schedule in any way. Previously, I had carefully mapped out…