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Creative energy lacking

Today was rough, not for any overarching reason, it is just part of life and parenting. Some days go great and others just don’t. Lately, there are a lot of rough days, the kind of days where I just want to collapse in bed as soon as I finally get the kids to sleep. The last thing I want to do is sit at a computer writing something that I don’t even have the creative energy for (which is what I am doing right now).

When I say that it was a rough day, I don’t really mean terrible or even bad – more exhausting. I am fortunate enough to have a pretty awesome life that I am very happy with. Still though, kids and life can be hard.

I woke up early this morning with the intent of writing (the four year old had pretty much taken my place in bed, so I figured I might as well get up). I stared at a blank screen for a while and then gave up since I figured I just didn’t have the creative energy. I have the ideas and words running through my brain, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to type them out at 5:30 in the morning. When I think about every bit of my day, it wasn’t really bad – just taxing. So, did I think about skipping this blog post? Absolutely. I have multiple posts I am meaning to write and I decided I didn’t feel up to it. I thought about how meaningless a streak is and does it really matter if I skip a day or two of blogging? After all, it isn’t like anyone else is even reading it right now.

I decided that the streak does matter, for me, not anyone else. If I gave myself permission to skip a day, that could become a week or a month or a year – and I can’t let myself go down that path. I need to write something, even if I do just end up rambling pointlessly like in this post. Hopefully, I have more creative energy to focus on writing tomorrow. Even if I don’t, I bet I can at least push myself to write something. Eventually, that something might even be good.

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