First Night Home – Microprose
Keys jingle in the lock and the door swings open. Empty walls and empty rooms, waiting to be filled. An air mattress to sleep on until the moving truck arrives. Every creak of floorboards echoes through halls. Welcome home.
7 Comments
Christine
You did a really nice job of demonstrating a sense of anticipation using mainly sensory details. It works really well in a short piece like this.
Belinda Bekkers
I really like this piece. It feels like the prologue to something bigger. Great job.
R.J. Midgley
You conveyed ’emptiness’ successfully. Very well written with great appeal to the senses!
Kalpana Solsi
The emptiness of the house is waiting to be filled to convert into a home. Can feel the excitement of moving in.
Melony
I really enjoyed the tightness of this piece and the overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I can feel the anticipation to turn this house into a home.
Sanch @ Sanch Writes
I love the sounds and the feel of the empty house waiting to be turned into a home. Nicely done with such few words
Ironmongery Experts
Hi Ana, great piece. We can really feel the emptiness of the house. It is always so exciting to convert a house into our home. Thank you for sharing.