For the past six years, I have been overwhelmed by this shroud of anxiety. Now that my thesis and grad school are behind me, I feel like I can finally breathe a bit more. I want to exist as person beyond my anxieties and being a mom. I feel like I have forgotten who I am under the weight of my anxieties and I need to work on getting back to that.
So how am I going to do that?
1. I am recommitting myself to writing everyday. When I write, I feel like I am really alive and more than a mom. In addition to writing on this blog at least three days a week, I am also working on writing a book that I promised Ryan that I would write with/for him.
2. I am going back to working on getting my driver’s license (I have only been behind the wheel of car once in the past three years). Now that the anxiety related to grad school is over for me, I can focus on working through my driving anxiety. Hopefully, I can eventually get comfortable enough driving that I will have the freedom to go places without depending on other people. Then I hope to more easily pursue my own interests outside of being a mom, and maybe even be able to make some real friends.
3. I am trying to make my home a more enjoyable place to be. When we first moved here, it was supposed to be on a short term basis until we bought a house. Now it is looking like we will be here longer term, and I know I can find a way to make the best of it. I also find that I function so much better mentally when my house is cleaned up and less cluttered, so hopefully as I get my house to a more tolerable state, I will feel some of my anxieties slip away.